Waxing lyrical

Kate Wildblood

Monday, 16 June 2008

Okay listen up. I intend to try and be what I say on the tin. Wildblood. I did Wikipedia, I searched with Google and not much came back. A TV show, a silent western, a plumber, a bout of furious PMT and a couple of DJs. (A couple? Impostor!) So I’m guessing I’m gonna have to make it up as I go along. Choose my own definition. Let’s hope rant and rave get in there somewhere.

And the stuff getting my Wildblood boiling this week?

First up are snails and their shell-less molluscan mates the slugs. Bastards. Ask anyone close enough to me to care and you know the word sweetpea will often be part of their definition. I’m a gardener, big time, and nothing makes me happier than being up to my elbows in earth. My garden is my escape pod and snails my nemesis as they chomp through my horticultural endeavours and seedy intentions. Nature is vital to my garden and the life within all that matters to me. And yet this flower growing lady gardener – hard to believe I know – grinned with glee at the latest slug disposing method disclosed by a Chelsea Flower Show expert. One BBQ skewer heated up hot as hell with us, dear gardeners, litter picker–up stylee, spearing the fuckers. Oh joy.

Something I’m considering is possibly too good for the leader the opposition. Cameron’s colours came good as he responded to the attempt by ex Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith to keep those ‘need for a father’ rules that have blighted the lives of lesbians seeking IVF treatment. There he was, right beside Duncan Smith, standing to the right of his party, keeping to his view that absent fathers are at the heart of Britain’s broken society. Yes, ban lesbian hoodies now!

Taxes, food prices and Brown’s inability to manage events maybe tempting you down Tory lane as we stutter through a Labour third term but, for me, Cameron’s support of a bill to continue discriminating against LGBT families reminds me of a certain shopkeepers daughter. Cameron may talk LGBT equality but blue is still his colour. A colour that brought us Section 28. Now where’s my red hot skewer?

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